We share relevant, science-based and personal stories about relationships, parenting, mental health and counseling

June 4, 2020

Contempt: The Deadliest of The Four Horsemen

Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse According to John Gottman, there are four destructive patterns of communication that can cause serious damage to a relationship. He calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. So far I have covered Criticism, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.  Each of these patterns is capable of […]
June 2, 2020

Accepting Responsibility in Arguments

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:  Defensiveness Continuing on with my series on Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse . . . Defensiveness is when we feel the need to armor up and shield ourself from someone who is attacking us.  It’s a common response but one that can backfire […]
May 27, 2020

Stonewalling: Turning Away from Conflict

Stonewalling . . . one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Suzy is a yeller. She wants to get it all out when she is angry with Bob. And she doesn’t hold back. She really lets him have it. Bob says when she unleashes her anger, his mind goes […]
May 21, 2020

Criticizing Your Partner Won’t Get You What You Want

Let’s face it, we are all on overload in dealing with the stressors associated with the pandemic. Whether it is economic worries, fear of getting the virus or the the frustration of shelter-in-place, most of us are not at our best right now. I know I’m not.  My sleep has […]
December 11, 2019

Date 8: A Lifetime of Love . . . . Dreams

I couldn’t help but belt out Dream On by Aerosmith as we headed out on Date #8 from Eight Dates:  Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. The topic of conversation for this last date was dreams. Singing is not my strong suit, but he was very patient as I screeched out the […]
November 5, 2019

Date 7: Something to Believe In . . . Growth and Spirituality

In every relationship, like in life, the only constant is change. Truth. Reading that statement in Eight Dates:  Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love made me stop and reflect on how my husband and I have both changed and also how we have grown together over the years.    When we met, there […]